For the protection of the household

I have developed a late-blooming love of conkers.

Obviously I missed out on the childhood finger-bashing and experimenting on vinegar vs other hardening substances, but I’m starting to embrace it wholeheartedly. Mainly, I like the texture and the colour (Batman tells me I have conkers hair which is nice). I have a conker in my handbag and I keep finding it in my hand while I’m waiting at the bus stop.

There are some good conker trees near our house, but they are also in front of a primary school, so you have to be fast to get the good ones.

Then we decided to test the theory that spiders don’t like conkers. This is, apparently, a particularly good year for spiders and as much as I applaud their fly-eating and other beneficial habits, I am less keen on rounding a corner and finding them hanging from the ceiling.

So our house is now peppered with conkers on window sills and behind doors, and anywhere else I thought they would look nice.

Even if they don’t deter the spiders, they should make me smile.